1996 Holden Commodore VS S (Sports) Pack Sedan (affectionately known as Veronica – inspired by the fine piece is ‘ACE’ that is Veronica Vaughn). Now I must stress the importance of the S Pack – it brings a heap of street cred to Veronica with a very simple but stylish spoiler–not like the big ‘wings’ of the Fast and the Furious inspired cars getting around these days that actually do ‘spoil’ the car. Along with some mad sweet skirting and don’t get me started on the mags she rolls around in.
Now onto the big ticket items–how she rides. Fitted with a 147kw Ecotec 3.8L V6 engine she has been known to reach tops speeds (not in excess of) 110km/hr, cos like all good girls she has some respect for the po-po. The power steering means she takes corners like she was used on the set of Tokyo Drift, and the electric side mirrors means you can see where your opposition is in the race.
The 4 speaker factory fitted AM/FM radio/cassette stereo has been known to pump out a bit of Lee Kernaghan, Johnny Dub, Dolly Parton (yes all these cassettes may be thrown in with the asking price) whilst cruising down the Kwinana Freeway. Recently she has taken a liking to Vampire Weekend, Alt J’s, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, and One Direction!
Ideal for a cheap first car. Now she has done a few k’s but let’s be honest here, no one wants their first to be inexperienced. She has been doing this since ‘96 so you know she knows how to perform when required. She grew up in the country (hence her music preference) but moved to the big smoke in early 2004 to widen her horizons. It was during her time in the city that she went on a rebellious streak and got her very own tramp stamp (aka sweet bullseye sticker) to let you know this isn’t her first time at the rodeo. She is a backpackers DREAM!
The interior is CLEAN and tidy. The roof lining needs replacement, but is being very professionally held up with staples and a few poker chips. To be honest, for a car this price, there is no real reason to get the roof lining fixed as it makes no difference to how she performs. And besides, when are you going to be looking at the roof – well we all know when, and Veronica has seen a fair few horizontal shenanigans take place in her time. And let me tell you, she has performed admirably given her size (ample room for two consenting adults to share the back seat when the opportunity arises).
No burn marks in the seats or carpets, it is in exceptional condition inside. Well apart from the odd food die stain from some past BnS Balls she has lived through – just adds character to the old girl.
She has only trusted herself with 3 different owners during her time and 2 of them were a mother-daughter combo (no one can say no to that), and none have been smokers. The only smoking she performs is at the back wheels (and maybe the occasional celebratory cigar post coitus). 17 year olds, don’t let the olds read this, but Veronica does know how to shake and bake, disappear in a cloud of smoke and leave nothing but half her tires on the pavement.
Now I see people advertise on here that one of the main benefits of a duel fuel system is that you’ll never run out of fuel again. Now Veronica doesn’t have this master piece of equipment but she was well ahead of her time and comes equipped with a fuel gauge (still in working condition) that lets you know when she needs topping up. Keep her out of the red, and she’ll keep you comfortably on your ass and off the streets.
Now it was a tough decision to part ways with Veronica, but like all good things, she wants out! Nah in all seriousness she is a good car, perfect for those who want a cheap reliable one to get your from A to B.
So if Veronica sounds like your kind of girl (and let’s be honest, if you’re in the market for a ’96 VS you’re not after a Victoria Secret Model but hey, Veronica is pretty close!) give me a shout and I’ll tee up a first date. I can’t promise she will satisfy you first round, but she’ll give it her best.
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