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Thread: Ebay Funnies

  1. #11
    Night Rider Blocker's Avatar
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    Anyone remember this one from ages ago?

    Reprinted exactly from the ad (spelling/grammar are seller�s own):

    This Helmet is like brand new. I bought it for my wife, but it's to

    small for her big fat head.You know, it was all a big lie right from

    the beginning. I asked her if she liked bikes, (i've been riding since

    i was 9 years old.) She's like "Yeah, I love Motorcycles, they're

    great!" Now, i'm thinking to myself, this chicks cool, she's hot, has

    big boobs, and loves motorcycles. I gotta snag this one up

    quick.Little did i know that as soon as i gave her the engagement

    ring, all that would change. First, it was a subtle hint, you know,

    that the wedding's going to be expensive, and that that band costs

    just as much as my motorcycle. With all these wedding plans going on,

    i hardly have time to ride my bike. I'm schleping all over the state

    looking at reception halls, listening to cheesy wedding bands, and

    picking out floral arrangements. She brings up the fact that i havn't

    ridden my bike in a while now, (No kidding!! She won't let me out of

    her sight for more than 5 minutes!) and that maybe i should sell it.

    Now, that brings a whole lot of tension into the situation. I'm like

    no way! Then i notice that our sex life has reduced dramatically. A

    man has gotta do, what he's gotta do, so, i sell the bike, thinking

    that things will get better. She promises me, that as soon as we get

    married, she'll get a good job, and then i can get another bike. We

    get married, and we're having sex everyday. Life is good. The Evil One

    is looking for work for like, 6 months. I find it hard to believe that

    she can't find a damn job, but who am i to say? She's just holding out

    for that Management position she says. To be quite honest, i really

    don't care, she's cleaning my pipes better than Roto Rooter. Then the

    kicker�She tells me she's pregnant. All the while i thought she was

    on the pill! I ask her how this happened, and she said the pill gave

    her facial hair. (I really couldn't see a difference, after all she is

    Italian). Fast Foward 9 months�i'm out breaking my back doing manual

    labor, she's a big, fat, hairy lipped beach ball, with the disposition

    of a rabid Pit Bull. Nothing i say, or do is good enough for her. The

    day she gave birth, i thought again, that things will change for the

    better. WRONG!! Now everythings about the baby. Me, i'm second fiddle.

    Sex life? Ha! The only time i get some action is when i see her breast

    feeding the little bastard! I'm going crazy, at least if i had a

    motorcycle, i could take out some of my frustration. Even the guys at

    work notice how miserable i've been. One day, my partner rolls up on a

    brand new bike. I wanted to commit suicide. He knows how bad i wanted

    another bike. He see's the look in my eye, and asks me if i would like

    to take it out for a spin Friday night. It was truly the first time i

    lit up since marrying that bitch. Friday rolls around, i cash my

    check, and head on over to my partners house. I cruise around for a

    while, and end up at this little bar on the edge of town. I head up to

    the bar, place my helmet on it, and order a beer. I look over and see

    this little hottie chatting it up with her friends. I notice that the

    eye contact is getting more and more frequent. After a few more

    minutes, she walks over to me and tells me she just loves motorcycles.

    That they get her "excited". I ask her if she wants to go for a ride.

    Her beautifully full lips widen with a pearly white smile. I take that

    as a yes. I grab her by the hand, and lead her to the bike. She straps

    on the spare helmet that was on the bike, and away we go. We ride for

    hours. She taps me on the shoulder, and tells me her apartment is on

    the next block. Would i want to stop in for a while and have another

    beer. Who am i to say no? I watch her lead the way, and i can't keep

    my eyes off of her tight lil' behind. I think back to the days when

    old hippo ass looked like this. Well, once upstairs, one beer turned

    into two, and so on. The next thing i know, i'm in bed with her, and

    she was amazing! It was the best expierence i have ever had. Right

    then i had an epiphany. I had to be happy. I wasn't going to live a

    miserable existance for the rest of my life and something had to be

    done. Long story short, i left my hairy beast of a wife. (She's done

    good since i left. She remarried an Appliance salesman named Harold.)

    While i was moving out, i came across the helmet. I don't ever want to

    be reminded of my miserable past life, so please, make a bid. I have a

    motorcycle payment to make! The helmet has no scratches, size MED and

    i would rate it a 9 out of 10 Winning bidder to Pay with PAYPAL ONLY.

    Winning Bidder to pay all Shipping costs. I ship UPS ONLY. No Zero or

    Negative Feedback Bidders.

  2. #12
    Sandman Driver V6HQUTE's Avatar
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    have a go at this vz ss speedo, brand new with 80,000ks on it???
    http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/Holden-Sp...item27c1e91b0f

  3. #13
    It's a rockin' Robbo's Avatar
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    That's a good one [MENTION=771]V6HQUTE[/MENTION]. A brand new.. fully reconditioned.. second hand SS instrument cluster. Ha,Ha!
    "Proud To Be An Old Fart".

  4. #14
    Leadfoot SandmanMuscle's Avatar
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    This seems well worth the cost.
    Ebay Van

  5. #15
    Leadfoot 0488TINTER's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SandmanMuscle View Post
    This seems well worth the cost.
    Ebay Van
    Fair go mate, it does come with$8500 in the glovebox

  6. #16
    Sandman Driver V6HQUTE's Avatar
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    http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/HQ-HJ-pre...item3f11c0887b
    the listing made me laugh first time ive seen anything advertised like it

  7. #17
    Sandman Driver Gaddy's Avatar
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  8. #18
    Cruiser HQGTSbrad's Avatar
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    Last edited by HQGTSbrad; 04-01-2012 at 11:15 PM.

  9. #19
    Sandman Driver V6HQUTE's Avatar
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    your links not working [MENTION=635]HQGTSbrad[/MENTION] well not for me atleast

  10. #20
    Night Rider Blocker's Avatar
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    Yea when posting an 'ebay funny' the risk is the ad will be pulled or get old and the link wont work anymore.
    So what I reckon might be a good idea is to take a screenshot and upload the picture or just copy and paste the text?

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